I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

In the spring of 1999 in the city of Los Angeles I find myself as a young 19 year old who is to climbing the latter of life with an ambition unsurpassed by most.  As I pass through obstacle after obstacle living the life that I believed was the right one.   One day I was giving an employee to work with me. She was beautiful from the start that had to put my guard on as I thought to my myself "this is going to be hard".  But if I don't hang in there I will never succeed.  So as I find myself working with this young girl about the same age as me I find myself struggling to maintain composure. her name is Marina Rocha a 19 year old girl from the city of Lynwood about 2 miles from where we worked.  So as time passed month after month getting to know her knowing her faces, smirks, vices, and character I end up connected somehow.  Still maintaining that barricade protecting myself from her. I would feel some energy,  electricity, or force every time I got close to her. It was a force of attraction like two magnets coming together.  My heart would automatically start rushing.  I started thinking of her at work  when she was off when I was off at home and when I was just anywhere. The barricade that I had built for myself was not working and I was feeling helpless and vulnerable.  I became scared of what was happening an attraction so great that would be in uncontrolled,  distorted, or scrambled my way of thinking. I would go to work hoping to see her she was the highlight of my day. "How can this be" I asked my self .  Some days would notice that she reacted the same way as I did towards her.  One day I decided to to change my self , I shaved my mustache and got a nice high fade thinking "this would change my way of thinking when I am around her" but what do you know she had changed her hair colors and style looking different as well the very same morning that I did.  Was this coincidence or what.  I had never had a girl and I started to feel insecure by now. she struck herself into my soul, my heart, and mind "what should I do" I asked myself.  at this moment a year after I met her I was starting fall away from my job and was having conflicts with management "it must be her she is changing me" I  thought to myself.  Instead of facing and embracing her.  I asked for transfer of location in order avoid her since the mental barricade I had built to protect myself from her had failed.  And there I went left her and I'm off to my new location.  I was not thinking of the consequences of not expressing myself and telling her what I felt, instead I decided to flee.   Day after day I would get a feeling of loneliness, I would ask my self "what is she thinking right now is she thinking of me too."  A couple of months passed by and I got the courage to revisit the location where she was working and tell how I felt and to my dismay I find out that she no longer working there.  My heart shattered like broken window, my soul was emptied like vacuum sucking everything, and my mind was erased from the memories I had with her as if was a hardrive that reformatted.  I returned to my car and as I sat there I realized I let her go after having her so close to me. I Loved her so much not realizing I let her go.  I will always love you,when I left you part of me stayed with you and I part of you stayed with me, bonded until time itself. That part I have taken from you will stay forever in my soul, mind, and heart in order to keep myself complete.   THE END